Dialogue a Depressed Teenager
Article | Yuan Yunlu everybody happy New Year, in the morning I went to le cosentino prepare winter swimming, see the majestic xinjiang river, feel good cold, should be zero.I now take off my coat, only swimming trunks, standing in the cold river, want to take this opportunity to communicate with depressed friends.I read a lot of articles about psychological problems on the Internet every day. I read a lot of posts from depressed friends. What they say fills me with emotion.Many depressed friends say, “I can’t do anything about it. I work hard, but god works against me.There are also a lot of friends in the message, depression patients is lazy, is hypocritical.Seeing other people say so, the depressed patient said grievously: You are wrong good person, I am not lazy at all, on the contrary, I am very diligent.Actually depressed friend, I want to tell you, you are really too lazy.Although you are diligent now, this is after you have a problem.What did you do in the old days?You crave pleasure, ease and comfort, you lack perseverance and patience, and you always want to reach heaven in one step.You are like a flower in a greenhouse, suddenly move it outside, take it to the sun, move it to the snow and snow to live in the wild, can the flower live?There is an old Chinese saying: Born in sorrow, die in ease.Many friends don’t understand this sentence.When I was a child by grandpa grandma, mom and dad pet, contained in the mouth, holding in the palm of the hand, grew up in the honey pot, do not know what complain.But now we have to face the harsh reality of life, to endure hardship, that we can not feel worthy?Parents want to pull us out to practice, want us to exercise now in life, parents can not let us stay in the room every day to play with the phone.The purpose of our parents to bring us up is to aspire to become a dragon, is to want us to become a phoenix, dragon.But his parents do not know how they love and cherish us when we were young, did not teach us to build the ability to face life, we do not know to hone their own since childhood.So now we have no ability to resist pressure, no ability to resist setbacks, a little bit of frustration, a little bit of pressure, a little bit of dissatisfaction, we will collapse in an instant.That’s the problem we face with depression.Maybe you will say: in the past is my parents to me, is my family of origin to bring me the misfortune, but now I am very diligent very hard!Yes, you are very diligent now.That is because you have depression, you feel that you can not adapt to the real society, can not adapt to the world, you are like the greenhouse flowers, put out, put in the sun, you already feel that they can not adapt to the reality, so you have to be diligent, have to work hard.You’re cramming at the eleventh hour!The teacher wants to tell everyone that your thinking is wrong.Today’s result yesterday’s cause, we Chinese are pay attention to cause and effect, pay attention to cause and effect, you now the result, is you at the beginning of the plant, usually do not work hard end, is you before the ease, greedy for comfort caused.Now what?The teacher teaches you a method, from now on, like King Goujian, sleep on brushwood and taste gall, and then give yourself the opportunity to give yourself time.Although I have suffered a lot of setbacks and hardships before, I have never given up on myself.Today so cold day, I still swim in the water, is to hone their willpower, is to cultivate the spirit of hard-working, is to improve their ability to resist frustration.You must understand this truth.How to do it?Don’t worry. Take it one step at a time.If we did not lay a good foundation before, did not persevere to exercise themselves, just like me, if never swam, today suddenly winter swimming, jumping into the cold water, you think, I can?You are like flowers growing in the greenhouse, suddenly get the sun to go under the exposure, get the snow suburban survival, ok?It’s never too late to mend.We can start in the summer, take it one step at a time, get used to the reality.Don’t be too eager to achieve success, just like climbing the Great Wall, others have climbed the hero slope, boarded the peak, you look at the ocean below, although you are desperately trying to climb, desperately hard, you say “how can I not reach that height?How can I keep up with others?”You’re not gonna make it!It’s not that you don’t work hard, but that you are late now.It’s like the hare and the tortoise.Although the tortoise crawl slowly, the rabbit run fast, but the rabbit covet comfortable, lying in that sleep, and the tortoise bear hardships and stand hard work, although slowly climb, but indomitable perseverance climbed to the end.At this time, the rabbit woke up and found that the turtle climbed to the end, was surprised: wrong ah, how can this?Seeing the turtle’s real arm shout “I did it!”Rabbit is disappointed and depressed.Friends, at this point, what should we do?It’s no use complaining, we lost this time and there will be another time!Next time, we can’t lose.From now on, do not feel sorry for yourself, gradually to build their own will, just like The King of Yue Goujian, sleeping on firewood and tasting gall, like winter swimming, in the next summer began to water.I used to be afraid of the cold, now I stand in the cold winter, immersed in such cold water and everyone to talk.My hands felt numb, but my heart was warm.Young friends, do not give up on yourself, do not envy others, do not complain about their own now like this, the biggest start again!Give yourself a little more chance, give yourself a little more time, I believe we will stand up and run again.Well, thank you, happy New Year, good luck, and a speedy recovery.Yuan Yunlu, police officer, provincial police psychological instructor;Psychologists who stutter, obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression;Contemporary cognitive psychologists with independent thinking;China Net education psychology channel, Phoenix news columnist, zhihu, today’s toutiao psychological field creator.He began to study psychology after being freed from severe stuttering and forced to undergo psychological therapy by Zhang Jinghui in 1988.Founded the theory of Autumn Water. Since 2006, she has published thousands of social psychological research and practice articles on Chinese Psychological and Health Magazine, China Net, Phoenix News, Zhihu and other media under the pseudonym of “Hate Ruoqiushui”, and received tens of thousands of people’s help and inquiries from people with stammer and various psychological troubles.Research interests: compulsion, stuttering, depression, anxiety, insomnia, adolescent psychological trauma, family and marriage.Representative works: Principles and Rehabilitation of Stuttering (Jiangxi Education Press.2015). Emotional Psychology (Jiangxi Education Press.2019).Publishing: Principles and Rehabilitation of Obsessive-compulsive disorder, Handbook of Mental Health. Writing: Principles and rehabilitation of depression.